Constant worrying and overthinking is really not good for our mental health and well-being. Do you find yourself at times, overthinking about a situation? This was me yesterday. I started thinking about a challenge that I was going through and went through various scenarios in my mind, that it lowered my mood and I just felt bothered and stressed. After about two hours, I decided to distract my mind through meditation, and I then started to search for articles online on how to cope with overthinking, I must say this helped me quite a lot and I decided to share some of the tips here.
Distract yourself. -When you realize you’re starting to ruminate, finding a distraction as it can break your thought cycle. Exercise, engage in conversation on a completely different subject or get working on a project that will distract your mind from a barrage of negative thoughts.
Meditate to quiet your mind –Research has shown that developing regular meditation routine is a good way to help clear your mind of nervous chatter by turning your attention inward. All you need is 5 minutes and a quiet place. I use a lot of guided meditation I have found on youtube which I can use anytime.
Focus on finding a solution – Dwelling on your problems is not helpful and not good for your wellbeing, instead look for the solution If it’s something you have some control over, consider how you can prevent the problem, or challenge yourself to identify five potential solutions and then take actions. If it’s something you have no control over—like a natural disaster—think about the strategies you can use to cope with it. Focus on the things you can control, like your attitude and effort.
Useful links – these are two great articles which have more details on how to cope with overthinking
There are people in our lives who we love, but at times their constant negativity can cause us unnecessary stress and anxiety which is not good for our overall wellbeing and happiness.
Here are some of my tips on how to try to deal with this. Please feel free to share yours too.
Accept that they are negative and that you cannot change their negativity, but can change the way you respond to them.
The way people act has nothing to do with you.
Limit the time you spend with them.
Counteract their negativity with positivity.
Before you go to visit a negative person set your intention to be positive and send positive emery to them before you meet them.
One of the funniest things I have done this year happened on Sunday 24th April when I took part in the UK Laughter Championships. Their was a time in my life where for 5 years, I lost my joy and sense of happiness because of personal challenges I was going through. At times I felt like a bird trapped in a cage of low self esteem, sadness and depression. I am happy with the help and support of so many people and organisations I was able to set back and now use my experiences to help others.
I entered the competition as it is part of my mission of spreading good vibes and positivity around especially during these times with so much uncertainty, anxiety, stress and negativity around.
The first stage of the competition was to send my laugh for consideration. I was then excited to make it to the finals.
Below in the image of what we had to do.
The most challenging one for me was doing the silent laughter, as you were not allowed to make any sound. The minute I had to do this was so long, and at the end I just had to let the laugh out.
The other competitors were amazing and had very good laughs. I was surprised and excited and felt honoured that the judges selected me as the winning laugher. Now I look forward to representing UK in the world championships on 15 May 2022 via zoom.
You can find out more here about the World Laughing Championships
One of the hardest things is learning to let go of a situation that is causing you stress but is beyond your control to change or do anything about.
For peace of mind, you have to learn to let go and accept it for what it is, though to start with it can be painful.
. I had a situation where I wanted certain people to just forgive each other and get on, but no matter what I said, it was like hitting a brick wall. This was hurting me as I love the two of them and found myself in the middle of things. After months of stress and trying to figure out a solution, I got fed up and decided to just get on with both on different levels and leave it up to them whether they wanted to get on or not. I feel so relieved and now have one less thing to stress about.
Here are some tips to help you too to learn to let go.
Accept that there is nothing else you can do to change the situation.
Express the pain and hurt you are feeling.
Determine and decide to let it go.
Trust that you will be ok as you adapt to things.
Learn the lesson and move on.
Visualise your self letting go and enjoy the feeling of freedom.
Pray for divine intervention.
Remember that health is wealth and don’t let things you cannot change steal your joy and happiness.
We all experience temporary feelings of stress as part of our daily life; but when these feelings become long-lasting or chronic, they can have a severe impact on our health and wellbeing
Long term or Chronic stress can seem overwhelming, and at times you may feel unable to regain control over your life, hence it is important you don’t suffer in silence but seek professional medical guidance, advice and support from your doctor who could also refer you to specialist.
Some self-help techniques you can try includes include;-
Finding what is causing your stress and finding ways to deal with them yourself or seek professional advise
Developing a tool box of tips and techniques you can use
Sharing how you are feeling to others you trust
Practising breathing, relaxation, laughter yoga, and many other techniques.
If the self help techniques are not working for you than you should seek professional medical advice from your doctor or specialist in this area.
Stress is part of life and though we cannot avoid them, we can have a set of techniques we can use. One way to reduce stress is the use of mantras to help ease some of the tension and quiet the mind.. As we can use exercise to train our bodies, meditation and mantras can be used to train our minds .and help reduce stress. I have a number of mantras I use on a regular basis which help me especially moments when I feel stressed or overwhelmed. I also record them so I can listen to them.
According to Dr. Herbert Benson, president and founder of the Mind/Body Medical Institute at Harvard Medical School, those who chanted mantras experienced psychological changes. These changes ranged from reduced heart rate, lower stress levels, and slower metabolism. Benson also documented that repeating mantras can benefit the immune system and relieve insomnia, leading to reduced doctor visit.
Mantras can help us reduce stress by repeating them and by combining them with sound, breathing, and rhythm. This then evokes a relaxing quality and allows for your mind to stop wandering and for you to just be still.
Write down some mantras put them everywhere. At the office, at your desk, at home. Put it anywhere so you can glance over at it when you get overwhelmed. You could also record and listen to them when needed.
Thanks very much for taking time to read this, and I hope you found it useful,
Stress is linked to physical, mental, and emotional health. During Stress Awareness Month we are encouraged to learn about what triggers our stress and how we can best manage it using various tips and tools. I will be writing weekly blogs every Monday in April sharing things I have done to help me cope and manage stress based on my experience and from other individuals and organisations.
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I have also written a self help book Crown of Smiles, which is a very practical. I share my journey from the time when I became divorced and a single parent of two boys, At about the same time my house was going to be repossessed, I had a lot of debt and was made redundant from my job.
The struggle was real and though at times I felt like giving up my faith kept me going and when I saw the smiles on my children’s faces it gave me hope and motivated me to seek help to cope with the sadness, depression and stressful moments. The book’s title is all about putting down my crown of sadness and replace it for the Crown of Smiles with hope, faith and gratitude that life will work out maybe not as how I had hoped, but hw it was meant to be.
According to the Mental Health Foundation in the United Kingdom, it seems that 74% of UK adults have had a moment where they’ve felt so stressed that they’ve been too overwhelmed or unable to cope with the situation. Not only that, but it has been estimated that between 75% and 90% of all visits to doctors are related to complaints or concerns whose root cause is stress.
So if we can make time to understand what cause us stress we can find ways to mange it, as we really cannot avoid stress. It is part of life.
Sometimes we can go through life smoothly with nothing happening and .other times it can seem that everything is happening all at once. We feel overwhelmed or stressed and this is ok as it is part of life, and perhaps its an opportunity for us to pause, reflect and set new priorities and boundaries.
The last few days I have been feeling overwhelmed and just felt like just running away from it all and go to a remote village where I can just chill, with no worries and just connect with nature.
I realise this feeling was mostly due to me taking on more work than I can cope with, and also letting other people’s issues drain me, and also not sticking to my boundaries. I decided to take time out for a few days to just pause, reflect and recharge. This is also what prompted me to write this blog,
Here are some of my tips which I hope will help you too when you feel a bit overwhelmed or stress.
Right now you might know me as the fun bubbly and colourful person, but their was a time in my life after my divorce in 2003, when I hit an all time low and for 5 years was locked in a period of sadness and depression. Sometimes I felt I was stuck in in deep hole with no way out. I lived my life on automatic pilot. To the outside world, friends and family, I looked and acted ok, but each time I went home, when the children slept, I would just sit down and cry. In the midst of it al, hearing the laughter of my children when they where playing gave me hope to carry on and be the best mother I could. As time went on. I was slowly able to pluck up the courage to reach out and to get help from various individuals who had gone through similar challenges I was going through as well as various organisation’s.
I started to develop my daily routines to help me have the courage to face each day. I decided to make happiness a life style choice as I got to realise that I was responsible for my own happiness. I have been able to use my experiences and information from courses, and help I received to help others to also develop daily happiness routines. It’s always a pleasure to get feedback weeks later to see the progress people are making.
Being happy is a lifestyle choice, so no matter what each day unfolds, make time to do something that makes you and someone else feel good. Remember that you are the captain of your own life. No one can give you happiness. It doesn’t come from money. It doesn’t come from fame. It comes from within you, not from your outside circumstances. You don’t have to have a “perfect” life to be happy. The really great news is that you don’t have to be young or old or wealthy or successful in order to be happy. Instead, you can develop a mindset of happiness.
Tips on how to create a Happier Life Style
Creating a happier lifestyle involves adopting healthy habits and making positive changes in your life. There are many things you can do to create a happier lifestyle. Here are some ideas:
Practice gratitude: Take a few minutes each day to reflect on what you’re grateful for. This can help shift your focus from what you don’t have to what you do have.
Stay active: Exercise can help boost your mood and energy levels. Find an activity you enjoy and make it a regular part of your routine.
Connect with others: Spending time with friends and family can help improve your mood and provide a sense of belonging. Make time for social activities that you enjoy.
Find meaning and purpose: Engage in activities that give your life meaning and purpose, such as volunteering or pursuing a hobby.
Take care of your body: Eating a healthy diet, getting enough sleep, and taking care of your physical health can all contribute to a happier lifestyle.
Cultivate positive thinking: Practice positive self-talk and focus on the good things in your life. This can help you feel more optimistic and content
To develop happiness as a lifestyle. I have daily routines which help me to start and finish my day with positivity and gratitude for being alive.
My Morning Routine to fuel my day
My morning routine which fuels my day, I tend to wake up a 6am every day as I am a morning person, and spend up to 90 minutes each morning. I have done this for so many years that it has become a habit. You need to create a routine that will fit your life.
Afternoon routine for me to Pause, Recharge and Refresh
Their was a time when i used to work flat out without a break and as time went on i became burnt out and not very productive. I have learnt to take at least 45 minutes from my busy work schedule to just pause, reflect and recharge. It has now become part of my working week, and I always feel better for it. Even when I do visit clients on their premises, I always schedule my day to include breaks, though most times they seem to eat their lunch at their desk whilst also working. I do try and encourage them to have a break away from their desks.
My evening routine to unwind and relax
After a busy day, it is good to just take time to unwind and relax as this will help you have a good nights sleep.
We are each responsible for our own happiness. This means not blaming others for your unhappiness. It means figuring out ways in which you can be happy despite others’ (negative) behaviours and despite the external circumstances which are beyond your control
Tips to help you maintain your lifestyle of happiness
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If you would like help to develop your own happier life, do contact me for initial free consultation via zoom or telephone.
The International Week of Happiness at Work is a Dutch initiative. Maartje Wolff and Fennande van der Meulen came up with the idea at the end of 2017 and launched the first International Week of Happiness at Work in 2018, together with Martin Leroy from Argentina. Why? Because they believe that Happiness at Work is important. When employees are happy at work, they are better parents, better friends, and better community members. The world will be a better place if more people are happy at work. Maartje and Fennande wrote the Happiness at Work Manifesto, that reflects their beliefs on the topic. Please check this website for more information. https://internationalweekofhappinessatwork.com/
As a happiness and wellbeing consultant, I am very excited to be involved in this week of celebrations and below are 7 things you could try as an individual as well as a team. You can also book me to do my 5 minutes fun lunch break sessions or Escape 2 Happiness Island to relieve stress sessions which are fun packed leaving you with good vibes and positivity.
Things you can do during the week
Happiness lunch break – it is very important that you take time from your desk to refresh yourself. Studies show that taking a lunch break allows your mind to rest, recharge and refocus, which can directly improve your productivity for the rest of the day. Taking time out during the day – even if you choose to have multiple, short breaks – this gives your brain a chance to recuperate.
2. One Minute Smilence – This is where you think happy thoughts whilst smiling for a minute
3. Gratitude – Write down all the positive things having a job allows you to do.
4. Thankful – Write down all the things that your are thankful for in your life
5. Escape to Happiness Island – Why not get me to deliver this fun session for your company where we virtually or in person visit happiness island using our imagination as well as singing, dancing and laughter yoga. You can also book to attend my lunch time free event via zoom
6.Positive Affirmations – Get different coloured paper and write some positive affirmations which you can put in a small box, and refer to them at regular times to motivate and inspire you
7. Have fun and book me Confident Queen to bring some good vibes to your office¬with my popular Happiness Lunch Hour at work. If I can make Simon Cowell on BGT smile, then I am sure I can do the same with your team! You can also join me on this free zoom lunch time event.
8. Laughter yoga and African dance workout sessions in your workplace or via zoom
Confident Queen Genny 