Courage – Sadness of a broken heart

I am quite proud of the fact that I wrote this short piece for a writing competition and made it to the last 3 finalist. Thanks to Gravesend Library for organising the yearly event and congratulations to the winners.

 

COURAGE by Genny Jones AKA Confident Queen 2017

 

It takes courage to put on a brave smile and wipe off the  tears and be determined to rebuild your life and picking up the pieces  of a broken relationship.

Greeting Card Cartoon Illustration of Sad Heart Character on Valentine Day

When  a relationship breaks up, it can leave a deep  hole in your heart. Sometimes you just sit down thinking about all the wonderful memories you shared, and shed a tear for you never thought a day like this will come when you are trying to mend up the pieces of a broken heart. You sometimes feel you life is on auto pilot. Wake up, get dressed, smile, go to work and try to do the best you can as you right nowm can’t afford to also loose your job.

You go with the flow at work pretending all is well. You finish work and go back home, open the door with tears in your eyes as the house suddenly looks so cold and unloved. You want to have something to eat but you can’t, you sit on the chair, looking around, you still have the wedding photos and pictures of you and your partner on the wall.

You feel very sad, and in so much anger and pain you take them off the wall and smash them to relieve your pain. You look down at your fingers and could see blood dripping as you have a cut. You look at the blood and wished you could bleed to death as the pain of a broken heart seems unbearable.   You slump in the chair, with blood still dripping from your finger, somehow you fall into a deep sleep and in that moment all your hurt and pain seem no more.

One night sleeping, you have a strange dream that you are a small bird trapped in a cage,  all of a sudden you could see a large hand opening the door of the cage and a voices say – you are free get up and soar like an eagle. All of a sudden , you start changing into an eagle and you are out of that cage soaring higher and higher.

You wake up in the Morning, thinking of that dream, you feel great and  perhaps it was the wake up call you needed as from this moment you decide enough is enough, time to take courage and be determined to  do whatever it tales to start rebuilding your happier life.

You then begin to think – Just because your once happy relationship comes to an end, does not mean you should but your life on hold and be unhappy whilst the other person has moved on are getting on with their own life. The key is to accept how you are feeling right now and learn to take one day at a time with the belief  and courage hat one day you will feel better and the hurt you feel will be less painful.

Celebrating the royal wedding

I must say I do love weddings and  it was such fun to watch the Royal wedding at our indoor gravesend borough market organised by the lovely Sarah Cheshire.

Some oof my photos

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Thanks to Jason Arthur of Jason’s Photography Gravesend Kent UK

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Congratulations and best wishes for a happy and wonderful marriage.

Photot from BBC news

 

 

How to bounce back from relationship break down

It’s not easy when you have spent so many years in a relationship to be faced with a future of being alone and trying to cope with all the issues that it brings. The key is to accept how you are feeling right now and learn to take one day at a time with the belief that one day you will feel better and the hurt you feel will be less painful.

Here is an extract of an interesting article I read about the four stages of a relationship breakdown.  Having gone through relationship break down in the past, I could relate to the stages  and know that  the length of each stage varies depending on each of us and our coping mechanism.

https://www.slideshare.net/thecycleofreunion/the-four-stages-of-emotions-following-a-break-up

Stage One: Shock – When your relationship comes to an end you will feel shock. If you knew there was trouble and a break up was heading your way then the shock might not be as great, but there will still be some degree of shock. If you were still happy in the relationship but your partner ended it out of the blue, then the shock you will feel will be very strong.

Stage Two:  Denial –when you refuse to believe that the relationship is over. Perhaps you have been in denial that there have been any problems occurring within your relationship and don’t want to accept that the relationship is now over. You might try to convince yourself that it is just a temporary setback that you will be able to resolve. Unfortunately, if your partner has broken off the relationship, then it might be too late to resolve any problems that have been building up overtime.

Stage Three: Depression. Feeling depressed is a completely normal reaction following a relationship break up. No-one enjoys ending a relationship and even if you are the partner that chose to end the relationship you will still experience sadness at the end of this major stage of your life. Itis best to try and move on and keep yourself  busy so you don’t spend all your time thinking about it.

Stage Four:  Acceptance. Although it can take time to reach this stage, once you  accept that the relationship is over then you can move on with your life. Be happy that you were able to experience a loving relationship for a short time and put the relationship and the break up down to experience.

Mental Health Awareness Week

Mental Health awareness week is organised by the Mental Health Foundation and the  theme for mental health week this year is relationship https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/campaigns/mental-health-awareness-week/why-relationships

mental heath awareness

Good relationships help us live longer and happier lives with fewer physical and mental health problems.

We cannot flourish as individuals and communities without them. In fact, they are as vital as better-established lifestyle factors, such as eating well, exercising more and stopping smoking. – See more at: https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/campaigns/mental-health-awareness-week/why-relationships#sthash.Zlyi31av.dpuf

Today is a good day to start looking at your relationships and make people a priority – Relationship with:-

The divine – This is good for spiritual growth

Yourself – You have to love yourself and make time to do things to make you feel good,

Immediate family members – You live in the same home, so you have to work hard at sorting out differences, learning to forgive and spending quality time with each others

Extended family – With the busyness of life it can sometime be challenging to keep up with extended family, despite that we still can use the internet and technology to connect. One of my friends always has a yearly family event to connect with each other.

Neighbours – It is sad that a lot of people live in isolation and can go on for years without talking to their neighbours. I know a lot of my neighbours and one of then is 91 years old and I enjoy the time we spend in the garden talking to each other and at times popping in for coffee and a chat. I think it is good to have a good relationships with some of our neighbours as sometimes you may have an emergency which they can help with.

Friends and Acquaintances – living in isolation is not good for our mental well-being and we have to try and develop a network of friends we can regularly connect with and do things together.

 

 

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