Plan for a better 2021

No one knows what the future holds, and with 2020 being such an unusual year, it can be tempting not to want to make any plans for the new year. We need to be hopeful and plan for things we have control over. Come and let’s plan how to make the most of the coming year.

Some key things to take into 2021

As we step into 2021, it is important that you set an intention of taking care of you and your mental wellbeing.  Start by creating a daily routine of about 20 minutes in the morning and last thing before you go to sleep. Engage in activities in the morning that will fuel you with good vibes to start you day. For me this includes, meditation, praying, reading something inspirational, setting my intentions for the day, visualizing me having a good day and some exercise.

At the end of each day again in activities that will help you to wind down, calm you so that you can enjoy a good night’s sleep. I enjoy listening to relaxing music, writing down things I am grateful for and doing my one minute smilence.

Contact me if you need help with this genny@confidentqueen.co.uk

Be Hopeful – believe and know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. So long as you are alive there is hope, things may not  turn out the way you want it to be, but still have hope. I am hopeful my business will turn around and my diary will be filled with more bookings.

Be positive – Because you have hope, be positive that things will get better, and limit the amount of negativity you take in. Get a good perspective and understanding of things. I am positive of things being better by visualising and saying out positive affirmations about what I want to make happen.

Be resilient – you have coped with bad situations in the past, so you have it within you to accept, adjust and adapt to whatever life throws at you, and even if you have moments when you can’t cope, remember is ok not to be ok, and its ok to reach out and ask for help.

Be Consistent – If you are serious of making changes in your life, you can’t stop and start, you have to try to be consistent and keep going.  Over the last month, realising that my diary for the first 3 months is looking blank as I don’t  have much work coming into my business, I have been consistent everyday in revieing my business and coming up with new ideas to help me get some more bookings.  I have been spending 3 hours every day on this.

Be an Action taker – things just don’t happen because you think of it, you have to be prepared to take action on a consistent basis. Use your diary and schedule time to do things do that it then becomes a habit. I tend to wake up every day about 5am and spend at least an hour getting myself ready for the day, and this includes planning things I will do at set times. I now do most of my house work on Saturdays, and during the week I block time slots for me time, time with the family, work time and creative time. I have certain days when I do things, so that they have now become habits.

Be Happy – In the midst of uncertainty and challenges, you need to strive to be happy, Happiness is withing you. Even on days that are bad, before you go to bed each night, practise some meditation to calm you down, and spend a minute recalling happy moments in your life, or recall happy thoughts whilst smiling for a minute. Being happy for me also means reaching out to others by doing voluntary work. It gives me joy to see the smiles in people’s faces as i help to deliver lunches and gifts of hope to those vulnerable and in need of encourage, love and support.

Start new habits – New year is always a good time to start some new habits, I read somewhere that it takes 3  to four weeks to make a habit automatic. Firstly you must believe that this new habit is going to be good for you and then commit to do what it takes every for at least the whole of January.  I find it useful to have an accountability partner who can also encourage and support me when I am taking on new habits  Half way through, celebrate that you have come this far and keep going as you see the benefits this new habit is having in your life.

Challenge yourself to be a better version of you and to do what it takes for you to be happy, grateful, and thankful for the Gift of Life.

I would love if you could connect with me please for more good vibes and positivity.

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Steps to make your dream come true #MakeYourDreamComeTrueDay

“Don’t let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use.”   Motivational speaker Earl Nightingale.

Over the last decade, though I have achieved a lot, I realised that I have also tried to work on too many ideas at a time and towards the later part of last year I felt exhausted and drained.

I took  a couple of days to review all the things I wanted to achieve and now I am, working on my 2 goals. I realise now that by me focusing on these two goals,  it will make a lot of my smaller goals and  dreams become a reality.

 

How you too can start this process

Get yourself a notebook to write down the answers to these questions:-

Firstly write down all you want to achieve and spend time to really focus on one or two of these goals over the next 3 months.

What is the 1 or 2  goal you want to work on?

Why do you you want to work on that goal?

How would you feel once you have achieved that goal?

Take Action

Research people  who have achieved your goal and make note of the things they have done and how they did it.

Write down your action plan broken down into little steps you will take each day towards achieving your goal.

Create a vision board using photos, words etc that will help you see your goal being accomplished.

Everyday  set your intention to do at least 3 things that will move you closer towards achieving your goals

Celebrate your little successes

 

Every morning 

Spend a few minutes just being grateful for what you have achieved so far.

Review the 3 things you are going to do today

Spend a few minutes being thankful for all the people, resources and opportunities that are coming your way.

 

Every evening before you go to sleep

Spend a few minutes just being grateful for what you have achieved so far.

Spend a few minutes looking at your vision board or just imagine how your life would be once you have achieved your goal.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Behind my huge heart shaped glasses!

behingmyglasses

Confidence to achieve your goals in 2016

Wishing you all a happier 2016 a year you take action and work towards achieving your goals.

Happy-New-Year-Greetings-Quotes-2016-15

As you set your goals for the new year remember the words of Michelle Obama “One of the lessons that I grew up with was to always stay true to yourself and never let what somebody else says distract you from your goals. And so when I hear about negative and false attacks, I really don’t invest any energy in them, because I know who I am. “

 

come-alive

Some tips on how to plan to achieve your goals

•Work to develop your inner peace and joy, and then all of the outer things will follow

•Spend some quiet time to think, write down and visualize the kind of life you would like to experience..

•Develop a strong belief and passion that you will achieve your goals with time, dedication and Passion

•Write down a daily mantra “ Yes I will achieve my goals in 2016”

•Prioritise and work on one thing you want to achieve at a given time.

•Set yourself timescales to complete things

•Get yourself someone who can work with you to help you achieve your goals

 

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•Stay focus on what you want to achieve and don’t let people, things or situations distract you.

•Follow through your ideas and avoid procrastination.

•Do not over commit your time, money, resources and energy on things that will not help you achieve your goals.

•Take time out in the morning and night to be still and focus on you having all the resources you need to achieve your goals.

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•Obstacles and challenges will come your way, but see them as opportunities to learn and grow.

•Make sure you plan your schedule so that you can have a good work life balance

•As people help you to fulfill your dreams, remember to help others too.

Be grateful, appreciate and celebrate all you have achieved so far

If you need help with this email me genny @ confidentqueen . co . uk

Plan to make 2016 your year of positivity!

bettercareofmyself

 

Happiness

Confidence to Achieve your goals Week 1 (Ask yourself)

askandyoushallreceive

How are your new year’s resolution going?

When we all started this year, a lot of us made wonderful resolutions and plans about things we will do to change our lives.   The reality is that for some of us we are now celebrating the last day in January and we have ditched some of our plans!   If you find yourself in this position, take heart, you are not alone. I am here to help you through the process and together we can “Make it Happen”

iknowyoucan

If you really want to achieve your goals in 2015, you really must try to develop the belief that you will achieve them, and are willing to take small daily actions to help you as well as not allowing temporary setbacks to put you off.

askyourself

 

To start with, I want you to spend the next few days writing your answers to these questions.

What do I really want to happen in my life right now?

What is happening in my life right now to stop me from Achieving what I want?

What is stopping me doing what I know I need to do?

What things can I do to change the situation?

Which things can I do myself, where can I get help from?

Who do I know that has gone through this situation that can help me?

Why do I really want to achieve this goal?

Why do I believe I will achieve my goal?

What emotions do I want to be feeling to know I have achieved my goals

What will I do to celebrate my achievements?

I hope the above helps, but if you would like me to help you to develop the confidence to achieve your goals then email me genny@confidentqueen.uk for your initial free consultation, after which it is £27 per session via email. Telephone or skype.

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The 21 Days sadness diet© Day 21 (Congratulations)

congratulationsThe 21 Days sadness diet© Day 21 Congratulations

Hello again, and welcome the final day of our 21 Days Diet, and I am so grateful and thankful that you have been part of it.

So right now, what colour is your happiness level?

sadness

Please let me know by commenting on this blog how this sadness diet© has helped you and any comment or suggestions you may have to help me improve it.

RECAP ON SOME OF THE KEY POINTS

IGROWS

The idea of The sadness diet© is for us to look at the things that make us sad, and together find ways to help us feel happier and have a reason to wake up each day with a smile. So on this journey, I have tried to Support, Motivate, Inspire, Love, and Encourage you.

The method I used to help us look at ways of being happier is the part of a coaching model “IGROWS” which I learnt as part of my Life Coaching course with the Coaching Academey .“IGROWS” mean (Issue, Goals, Reality, Options, Willingness and Smiles.

facts of smiling

Tips to cope when you feel a bit sad

Acknowledge that you are sad – because life is full of challenges and its ok to be sad

Express your feelings of sadness – It is important that you express how you feel as it is all part of the journey towards happiness. So cry, scream etc it’s ok ( this too will pass away) and be patient that in time you will feel happier again.

You could also have a sadness party https://confidentqueen.wordpress.com/2014/07/30/sadness-party/

If you are really feeling deeply sad or depressed, remember you are not alone, and if you feel like talking to someone there is the Samaritans, Mind, NHS Choices and similar organizations that can help you.

Before you go to bed each night just focus on things you are grateful for, think happy thoughts, play happy music so that you can go to bed feeling good and enjoying a good night’s sleep. ( See below on how to add the instant feel good factor to your day).

When you wake up each morning, take a deep breath, focus on grateful for, think happy thoughts, play happy music so that you can start your day with a smile and in a good mood. ( See below on how to add the instant feel good factor to your day)

visualise

Next Steps

Over the next few days, I want you to develop daily habits that will help you to cope with life’s unexpected events that make you sad. Refer back to the 21 days diet and decide which activities work best for you. Below is a suggestion of things you can do each day when you wake up, during the Day and before going to bed.

Instant Feel Good Factor

Find a quiet place

Sit down

Breathe in slowly and Breathe out Slowly ( do this a couple of times)

Breathe in slowly and then laugh out loud slowly (do this a couple of times)

Say – I am so grateful and happy to be alive to see another day.

Think and focus on something that makes you feel happy or just make sing and dance to my favourite “wake up I feel happy boom, boom, I feel like dancing around boom boom, and now I am dancing line no one’s watching boom, boom” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQPhLEWmTvo

Smile – Just spend a few seconds smiling, and then I want you to give out a couple of big laughs (hahaha) and say (woohoo boom boom)

Get your Gift of a smile box, and make use of the items as you continue to feel good and smile,

Now give yourself a big hug them go and share a smile and a hug with someone else!

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SUMMARY OF THE LAST 21 DAYS

Over the last 21 Days, we have covered the following topics and if you do need the whole 21 days I can send you in my Ebook which I am creating for £7. I also offer one to one coaching session to help you in your journey to your happier life and this is £27 per session which can be via skype, telephone, and emails. Face to Face meetings will be charged at a higher rate to cover travel time and costs. I am based in Gravesend Kent (UK)

The 21 Days sadness diet© Day 1 Issue

The 21 Days sadness diet© Day 2 Goals

The 21 Days sadness diet© Day 3 Goals – Vision Boards

The 21 Days sadness diet© Day 4 Affirmations

The 21 Days sadness diet© Day 5 Celebrate our progress so far

The 21 Days sadness diet© Day 6 Don’t be weighed down by your problems

The 21 Days sadness diet© Day 7 The Gift of a Smile Box

The 21 Days sadness diet© Day 8 Options

The 21 Days sadness diet© Day 9 I am willing to change

The 21 Days sadness diet© Day 10 Don’t be discouraged

The 21 Days sadness diet© Day 11 Make the most of your time

The 21 Days sadness diet© Day 12 You are never too old

The 21 Days sadness diet© Day 13 Six Ways to Wellbeing

The 21 Days sadness diet© Day 14 Meditation by – Liz Almond

The 21 Days sadness diet© Day 15 Mindfulness from Action for Happiness

The 21 Days sadness diet© Day 16 It’s good to hug

The 21 Days sadness diet© Day 18 Bury your regrets

The 21 Days sadness diet© Day 19 Time to Review and Reflect

The 21 Days Sadness diet© Day 20 Law of Attraction

The 21 Days Sadness diet© Day 21 Congratulations

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The sadness diet© Day 19 ( Time to Review and Reflect)

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The sadness diet©

The idea of The sadness diet© is for us to look at the things that make us sad, and together find ways to help us feel happier and have a reason to wake up each day with a smile. So on this journey, we will all Support, Motivate, Inspire, Love, and Encourage each other. Method we will use is called “IGROWS” turn our sadness into Joy. (Issue, Goals, Reality, Options, Willingness and Smiles

I am excited!

I am feeling so excited that I have managed to keep on writing about the sadness diet, and I am grateful for all the wonderful comments and feedback that you have given me. Over the last 18 days, we all must have had some unexpected news or situation, that stopped us on our track and seemed to mess up our well laid plans.   In those moments, we may have cried, felt disappointed and frustrated, but in time, we got over it, and still carry on with our lives realising that sadness is temporary and it’s all part of life. We realise that their have also been opportunities and situations that made us stop and say “…..despite it all, but still I smile!

 refelecct1

Time to review and reflect

Today, we will take time to review your progress so far as well as time for you to catch up on any of the day’s activity you may have missed,

Activity 1 – go through all the different articles I have brought to you as part of this 21 days sadness diet and pick up the key things that matter to you.

Activity 2 –   Come up with ways you can incorporate some of the ideas into your daily lifestyle e.g One of the things I do each day is to meditate at least 10 minutes in the morning and before I go to sleep.

Activity 3 – What things will you take on board to help you at moments when you feel sad? E.g I keep my box of smiles in my bag daily so that at moment when I feel sad and I find a quite place to reflect on the items in it.

Activity 3 – What are you grateful for?

Grateful

Just take a moment to write down all the people, things, situations that you are grateful for right now? e.g for me I am so grateful, thankful and happy that I have been able to secure part time contracts which will now allow me to have regular monthly income each month.

Take care and see you tomorrow when we will look at the Law of Attraction.

thoughtsbecomethings

The 21 Days sadness diet© Day 18 (Bury your regrets)

neverregret

Welcome back

Thank you so much for joining in our Sadness Diet and the journey to happier times.   In everyday life, we realise that there is a time for every purpose under heaven, their will be times when we feel sad and times when we feel happy. Yesterday we used the resources from ( http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2014/03/05/grateful-when-times-are-tough/) and we focused on how to be grateful even when we feel sad.

Why we regret things at times

One of the biggest cause of sadness for a lot of us is “regret” when things are not going according to plan, and we have too much time to think, we can sometime fall into depression and sadness as we start focussing of regret using “If only”

Regret happens when you don’t forgive yourself. When your mistake feels final, like going too fast on a motorway, it is too easy to feel regret. However, forgiveness is a powerful catalyst, and is one of the most loving actions you can take for yourself. While regret holds you back in the past, forgiveness helps you to move forward.

Tell yourself, “That was part of who I was then. I didn’t know any better or I would have made a different choice. That mistake helped me to grow into who I am today. I forgive myself and resolve to move forward.” Believe what you tell yourself.

regrets of the dying

The day I was feeling so sad

A while back ago, I was feeling a bit sad and this was triggered by the fact that I had problems with my sink, and I needed to get a plumber out but right at that point I did not have the money to get a plumber in, and at the same time my son could not go to a particular event he had been invited to as their was no one to take him and I had to give up my car two years ago whilst I sorted my temporary financial set back.

But this day, as I sat down at home on my own, I really felt sad, and started to focus on the fact that I did not have regular contract, I wished I had not got myself in so much debt, I regretted the fact that my life was not going how I had expected it – get married, have children, enjoy wonderful family live, retire early and travel round the world! I really felt so sad and started to cry, but in the midst of it all, a friend of mine called and was a bit upset and I spent time talking to her and cheering her up. After speaking to her, I forgot I was sad, and just got up and started to do things to stop me from focussing on my past regrets. Out of all this, I decided to write this 21 days sadness diet, as a way of helping me to cope and also to share my experiences with you.

 

Tips on coping with regret

  1.  Let go of the past, and create a better future. When you do this, there is no longer room for regret, for it serves no active purpose.
  2. Concentrate on now. Put your passion into a new relationship, a new skill or a new adventure.
  3. Forgive yourself, learn from your mistakes, and move forward with a clear conscience.
  4. Let Go of Negative Feelings and send negative feelings about your actions into the past, where the action occurred. They don’t do you any good now.
  5. Focus on new accomplishments and connections so you can move forward, away from memories, which no longer serve you.
  6. Find the Lessons – Ask yourself, “What can I learn from this?” When you make a mistake, there is ALWAYS something to learn. Learning equals growth. It is more difficult to feel loss when your focus is on gain, and on bettering yourself.

Activity – How Bury your regret

  1. Get a piece of paper and write down all the things you regret and why you regret it.
  2. Cross a line against each one as a way of reminding yourself , that it is the past, it is gone and there is nothing you can do to change it.
  3. Forgive yourself, as sometimes we make choices which at the time seem to be good, but on later reflection we realise it was not a good choice.
  4. Try and learn the lessons you gained from it
  5. Now cut the paper up in small pieces
  6. You then need to find a spot in an open space – lets say if you have a back garden, dig a whole and bury the small pieces, or if you have a shredder you can shred it, or safely you could burn the paper – it is a way of letting go
  7. Now take a deep breath and focus on what you can do right now to change your situation – if you find you cannot cope with doing this, do ask for help or you can email me genny@confidentqueen.co.uk

How to make amends with others

If you regret something you have done to someone, then you should try and ask for forgiveness from that person and if they don’t accept your forgives, its ok as you have done your part and they may not be at a place yet where they can forgive you.

Some times it is difficult if the person has died but you can still. My dad died 29 years ago, and I really regret the fact that when I was younger he promised to buy me a white pair of shoes, and he never had the chance to. This affected me for years, but one day I remember waking up crying and saying “ Dad I love you, now you are gone I know you can’t buy me my shoes, but it’s ok now and I forgive you”

Credits and useful links :-

http://thinksimplenow.com/wisdom/how-to-deal-with-regret/

http://www.actionforhappiness.org/10-keys-to-happier-living/find-ways-to-bounce-back/details

Please feel free to email or comment on this blog, which I hope has helped you to cope with some of the regrets you may have. May the Smile be with you.

The 21 Days sadness diet© Day 17 (Be Grateful even when you feel sad)

Grateful

Welcome back

Thank you so much for joining in our Sadness Diet and the journey to happier times.  In everyday life, we realise that there is a time for every purpose under heaven, their will be times when we feel sad and times when we feel happy. Yesterday we used the resources from http://www.mindbodygreen.com and looked at why its good to enjoy a hug. I hope you managed to hug yourself and shared hugs with others/

Today we look at – Being Grateful even when you are feeling sad

Some days we wake up feeling excited and passionate about life and things are just great. We then have days when we do not feel much motivated at all. When our best laid plans go out the window before the day has barely begun; or when something important unexpectedly goes wrong and we get that sinking feeling our your stomach. Or when you feel sorry for yourself and honestly just want to go back to bed and to sleep again. The old saying tells us to count our blessings, but sometimes that can be difficult to do.

Maybe the simplest and certainly one of the most effective ways to turn such a day, week or month around into something more positive and better is in my experience to turn your focus to gratitude. Because even if things look tough today or for the next 3 or 6 months we can always find something or several things to feel very grateful for about our life. ( http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2014/03/05/grateful-when-times-are-tough/)

When you are grateful…….…

Have more energy and optimism

Are less bothered by life’s hassles

Are more resilient in the face of stress

Are healthier

Suffer less depression than the rest of us

Are more compassionate

Are more likely to help others

Are less materialistic

Are more satisfied with life.

9 Benefits of Being Grateful

Some of the things I am grateful for right now in my life

  1. I am alive and in good health
  2. I have wonderful children, family, church  members and a network of fantastic friends
  3. A roof over our heads and a warm, loving and secure home
  4. Plenty of drinkable water when there are so many in the world with no access to clean water
  5. I have more than enough food to eat and to share with others
  6. Regular contract work
  7. I can enjoy the small and free pleasures of life.
  8. Access to the internet which has allowed me to learn so much and make so many new friends
  9. Being able to be happy and share happiness to others
  10. The setbacks that have formed me and made me stronger
  11. Great memories of my family and friends who are no longer with us

 

Activity 1 – So now you need to sit down and just take a few minutes to write down all the things that you are grateful for in your life right now. Take your time and each day just keep writing, for me it is therapy and I love going back and reading my gratitude list especially at times when I feel a bit down, it helps me to realise how blessed I truly am, especially in a world where so many are suffering and in need of the basics of life.

Thanks for taking part in the Sadness diet, and I am grateful that you have given me the opportunity to share with you.  No matter what you are going through give yourself permission to SMILE.

 

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