7 ways to deal with problems

We can’t go on in life pretending everything is ok  when in reality we have unresolved problems. Problems are part of life and sometimes a problem will keep resurfacing until we deal with it.

We typically react to a problem in four ways:

1) Flee it: we try to escape, but the problem always follows us


2) Forget it: we hope it will go away if we don’t think about it. But left alone, problems tend to get worse.


3) Fight it: what we resist persists. And problems are no exception.


4) Face it: we look at the issue realistically and deal with it


When trying to sort a problem, you  could:-

.1.First, ask yourself: is there really a problem here? …

2, Accept it …

3.Ask for help. .

4. Use 80 percent of your time to focus and find solutions. …

5. Break the problem down into smaller pieces. …

6.Find the opportunity and/or lesson within the problem.

7. Find out how people who have gone through a similar problems dealt with it.


I hope some of these tips help and if you need more help do contact me. Best wishes and I hope everything works out for you.



When life is not going the way we had hoped!

bepreparedThe other day I overheard a lady on the train discussing with  her friend the fact that at 58 she was expecting to have retired, paid of her mortgage, be debt free, live in a beautiful home, raise wonderful independent children, and be travelling to different destinations with her husband.


This really got me thinking too, as I find myself in a similar situation where my life seems at times to be in a rot and this gets me frustrated when I want to do something and I cant because I don’t have the necessary finances to do so. It can be challenging at times especially when you work so hard and yet still cannot enjoy the money as we are consumed by bills and debts.   Below are some of the things I try to do to help me overcome challenges I face. I hope you find them useful,



How to create the life you want to experience


Take stock of your life right now – write down all the good stuff , and then write down all the challenges you are facing ring now,


Look at all the challenges you are facing and next to each answer-

What have you done in the past to resolve it?

Who do you know who has gone through this situation and will be willing to help you? If you don’t know someone, try to search on the internet .


Goal – Write down what you want to happen about this challenge you are facing how will it make you feel once you have resolved it, and how you will celebrate overcoming this challenge?


Options – Write down all the possible things you could do to resolve things

Obstacles – Write down everything that you feel will prevent you from taking a particular option

Overcome the obstacles – Write down everything that you could do to overcome each obstacle and remember at this stage to also get help from others, as sometimes when we are going through challenges it can be difficult to see the solution. I find it useful to search the internet and read stories about people who have a similar challenge to me and how they overcame it. You could also look for support groups online or in your local area

 Solution – Look at all your options and select the one which you feel is best for you.

Action – At this stage you must be willing and committed do the things that will help you overcome the challenge you are facing. Taking action also means developing new habits and having a diary where you can plan the actions you are going to take. I tend to procrastinate at times, so I belong to a small network of people who want to succeed in life, and we support and encourage each other on a regular basis.

Positive Mindset – Despite challenges we face, we must tray and develop a positive mindset and attitude which involves believing and knowing that our challenges are temporary and there is light at the end of a tunnel!


Stay Confident and don’t every give up!

Check out my Book ” I can blow up a balloon”


School of Confidence Courses


Relax, Refresh and Recharge

WooHoo, it’s the Weekend and let’s try and find time to Relax, Refresh and Recharge.

This has been one of the busiest and most stressful week for me, so you can imagine that right now I just feel happy that I have made the decision to just make sure I have time to Relax, Refresh and Recharge.

Seven things I am doing today!

1.  I love early morning’s so today instead of waking up at 5am. I woke up at 7.30

2. I decided to spend few minutes just writing this blog to connect with you

3. I will go shopping, and come home and make a lovely late breakfast for the children and I to enjoy

4 My children and I will do some basic housework and then chiil out

5. I will go for a  relaxing walk and spend some time in the park

6.  I will cook a lovely meal for my children and I to enjoy

7. I will have a relaxing evening watching movies and then Britain’s Got Talent!

8. Enjoy a relaxing bath, and massage so that I can have a good night’s sleep!

…..Hope you have a good day too!


Confidence to Achieve your goals Week 1 (Ask yourself)


How are your new year’s resolution going?

When we all started this year, a lot of us made wonderful resolutions and plans about things we will do to change our lives.   The reality is that for some of us we are now celebrating the last day in January and we have ditched some of our plans!   If you find yourself in this position, take heart, you are not alone. I am here to help you through the process and together we can “Make it Happen”


If you really want to achieve your goals in 2015, you really must try to develop the belief that you will achieve them, and are willing to take small daily actions to help you as well as not allowing temporary setbacks to put you off.



To start with, I want you to spend the next few days writing your answers to these questions.

What do I really want to happen in my life right now?

What is happening in my life right now to stop me from Achieving what I want?

What is stopping me doing what I know I need to do?

What things can I do to change the situation?

Which things can I do myself, where can I get help from?

Who do I know that has gone through this situation that can help me?

Why do I really want to achieve this goal?

Why do I believe I will achieve my goal?

What emotions do I want to be feeling to know I have achieved my goals

What will I do to celebrate my achievements?

I hope the above helps, but if you would like me to help you to develop the confidence to achieve your goals then email me genny@confidentqueen.uk for your initial free consultation, after which it is £27 per session via email. Telephone or skype.


The 21 Days sadness diet© Day 17 (Be Grateful even when you feel sad)


Welcome back

Thank you so much for joining in our Sadness Diet and the journey to happier times.  In everyday life, we realise that there is a time for every purpose under heaven, their will be times when we feel sad and times when we feel happy. Yesterday we used the resources from http://www.mindbodygreen.com and looked at why its good to enjoy a hug. I hope you managed to hug yourself and shared hugs with others/

Today we look at – Being Grateful even when you are feeling sad

Some days we wake up feeling excited and passionate about life and things are just great. We then have days when we do not feel much motivated at all. When our best laid plans go out the window before the day has barely begun; or when something important unexpectedly goes wrong and we get that sinking feeling our your stomach. Or when you feel sorry for yourself and honestly just want to go back to bed and to sleep again. The old saying tells us to count our blessings, but sometimes that can be difficult to do.

Maybe the simplest and certainly one of the most effective ways to turn such a day, week or month around into something more positive and better is in my experience to turn your focus to gratitude. Because even if things look tough today or for the next 3 or 6 months we can always find something or several things to feel very grateful for about our life. ( http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2014/03/05/grateful-when-times-are-tough/)

When you are grateful…….…

Have more energy and optimism

Are less bothered by life’s hassles

Are more resilient in the face of stress

Are healthier

Suffer less depression than the rest of us

Are more compassionate

Are more likely to help others

Are less materialistic

Are more satisfied with life.

9 Benefits of Being Grateful

Some of the things I am grateful for right now in my life

  1. I am alive and in good health
  2. I have wonderful children, family, church  members and a network of fantastic friends
  3. A roof over our heads and a warm, loving and secure home
  4. Plenty of drinkable water when there are so many in the world with no access to clean water
  5. I have more than enough food to eat and to share with others
  6. Regular contract work
  7. I can enjoy the small and free pleasures of life.
  8. Access to the internet which has allowed me to learn so much and make so many new friends
  9. Being able to be happy and share happiness to others
  10. The setbacks that have formed me and made me stronger
  11. Great memories of my family and friends who are no longer with us


Activity 1 – So now you need to sit down and just take a few minutes to write down all the things that you are grateful for in your life right now. Take your time and each day just keep writing, for me it is therapy and I love going back and reading my gratitude list especially at times when I feel a bit down, it helps me to realise how blessed I truly am, especially in a world where so many are suffering and in need of the basics of life.

Thanks for taking part in the Sadness diet, and I am grateful that you have given me the opportunity to share with you.  No matter what you are going through give yourself permission to SMILE.


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