Smiling through the tears – loss of 3 family members just before Christmas.

Over the last 8 weeks, I have been locked in the world of grief due to the unexpected death of my mum. my cousin-in-law and my uncle. At times I find myself jus running on autopilot as I found myself having to suddenly prepare for the funeral of my mum. It took me so long to accept she had gone. The funeral for all 3 was one week after each other, and it drained us all and made this our first Christmas very sad and different,

I felt so sad about my mum’s situation, as the night before she was happy when I called her as I had gone away for the weekend to attend the single mums’ business awards. My son told me that he and my mum were both dancing and having fun that night after my call.

It was therefore so sad the following morning when I got phone call from my son asking for my mum’s medical records. I asked him what was going on, and he said he woke up to some groaning noises and when he went to find out what it was, it was my mum on the floor. He then had to call the emergency and they told him what to do, including him giving my mum CPR. The ambulance than came and took my mum to the hospital as she was unconscious. I felt so helpless as I raced to catch the train. It was the longest journey of my life and the tears just kept flowing. My son was keeping me updated. When I eventually got to the hospital I was just devastated and shocked to see my mum in the lifeless state.

Please listen to this podcast interview with the inspirational Rachel Smith as part of her coping with loss series as I discuss my experiences.

My mum used to work for the Commonwealth secretariat as a senior secretary and this involved going to the Commonwealth meetings where she had great moments meeting Nelson Mandela, Prince Charles and the Queen as well as other common wealth heads of government, I am so proud of my mum and her achievements as she used to tell me stories of being in England in 1969 and the hardships and racism she and her friends faced. She sold milk bottles, cleaned toilets to survive as she was also studying for her professional secretarial qualifications which she eventually completed as was able to gain a job at the commonwealth secretariat where she worked through the ranks to become a senior secretary.

Right now, I feel I am in a better place as i have slowly come to accept that my mum is gone and painful as it is, I have to get on with life the best I can.. I am grateful that this moment has brought our family together united in grief.


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