Learning to Love again

Sometimes, when we have been in a bad relationship, it can harden our heart and we can develop the #FOGHA Fear Of Getting Hurt Again, but with time, help and support, we can get over it and move on.

The Fear oF Getting Hurt Again #FOGHA

For me, my last relationship was back in 2003 when I got divorced and I made the decision to focus on raising up my two children they best i could, and I really could not handle the stress of another relationship. Their have been people who have wanted to take me out or start a relationship, but i just was not interested because i also had the Fear of getting hurt again.

I now realise that, If we don’t allow ourselves to open up to love again, we can miss out on the good things in life and we can miss out on the chance of finding the love we truly strive for

Now my children are young adults, and I am experiencing a bit of the empty nest syndrome, I have been thinking perhaps now is the time to open my heart and let love find it’s way. Funny thing is, as I have been having these thoughts, I seem to be attracting interesting individuals in my life. I am taking things easy and giving myself time before I jump into a relationship which I guess has to come from friendship initially.

Learning from past relationships

**Sometimes you have to get knocked down to learn how to stand back up. To open up to love again, you have to look at the lessons your heartbreak taught you about yourself; maybe it taught you to trust your intuition or to love yourself more, or maybe it taught you how to walk away or when to draw the line. Learning from your past mistakes is the only way you can lead yourself to find love you deserve rather than crumbs of love.

**Be honest with yourself about what went wrong, sometimes it’s you and sometimes it’s them. Sometimes it’s timing and sometimes it’s your own fears and insecurities. If you can be honest with yourself about what exactly went wrong and pin down how you contributed to it, you are more likely to avoid these mistakes in the future.

**It can be easy to think everyone’s out to get you when you’ve been hurt before, but instead of being stuck on the pain and everything that went wrong, allow yourself the power of forgiveness and remind yourself that whoever hurt you was not an evil person, they just weren’t the best person for you.

 **Don’t compare your new partner with your ex as this will only impede you from enjoying the moment. Don’t judge a book by its cover and don’t be so hard on yourself. We are each on our own journeys and we should trust that our story will eventually have a happy ending.

  1. “When you start to get back into dating, one of the main things you want to keep in mind is that you should have confidence in yourself knowing  that you are beautiful and have a lot to bring to the table. Your age is an asset — not a barrier — to love.”
  2. Finding the right person later on in life can be challenging especially if you’re noticing that they aren’t quite like you or the last person that you were with.  Judging someone too quickly based off of your standards very well could have you missing out on the opportunity to connect with another amazing person.”
  3. Enjoy the experience of dating again by being in the moment –   enjoying  the time and space with that person without  expectation of what will happen next or how far the relationship will go.

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